Insomnia 101

I woke up at 2:15am by some sort of bug running acorss my foot. I sat in bed for a few mintues before knowing that I wasn’t going o sleep of r bit. I figured "I’ll go online, and do boring things until im truly tired, then go back to bed." well here I am, 3 ½ hours later, and I have done everything that I can think of to get tired it just isn’t happening. I have so far today cleaned out 3 emails, applied for a credit card, cleaned out my devaintART gallery, updated 5 old pictured for my computer onto my devaintART gallery, created 2 online accounts, balanced my checkbook, cleaned out my Yahoo messenger of old names, proof read the next chapter in my story, and half way through typing this the power surged so I had to rewrite it again.

Im still not tired enough to sleep. This sucks because im doing house work today and I will be whipped. At least the good thing is I go hired for HowlOScream yesterday.

Oh that’s another thing all together. Each year they have highlight clips for the year before showing the newbies what to expect. I got my 3 seconds of fame because they showed me getting kidnaped yo represent my house. It was so awesome! Im a sub this year so could be anywhere. At first I was disappointed but now that I have thought about it, I cant wait. I could be anywhere, doing anything. It gonna be so cool!

Well, all that’s left to do it update all my accounts and pay for college. Maybe the plan of spending so much money will send me into shock so I can get some sleep.

MY LAST WORDS part 1

(This is a bunch of public arguments that I’m making towards people in my family. I’m making this public so that everyone can read it, but it will soon be removed (from deviantART) and blocked to friends only (myspace, Xanga). If you want to comment, go ahead.)

Before I post my "big post" let me address everyone about one person. Brandon

first off, despite the popular belief that I am just a slut that wants it regularly and I tricked my dad to have him move in, I didn’t. He really did get kicked out of his house. Here is why, take it or leave it, I don’t care anymore.

Brandon, at 19, didn’t want to spend the rest of his life as a publix bag boy. So, he tired some online classes (that his grandmother paid for). He failed (reasons I don’t know, but I suspect he has to hear the teacher or he doesn’t pay attention. He hates to read). He decided again, at 20 , to try again, this time at the college, but he was going to pay for it himself. His parents, seeing his past performance, said he was too stupid to go to college. They wouldn’t even let him take the placement test. He decided that, as an adult, he should be able to take the FREE test to at least find out where he placed. His parents found out. They said that if he was rich enough to waste his money going to college, he was rich enough to move out on his own. They gave him one day to find a place, and my father and I were the only ones available.

All you guys that think he is lazy how about you chew on this. Every month, he helps me pay for the electric bill, food for the house, and any laundry I have to do at the Laundromat. He helps me to clean the house, and care for the animals. He is taking more classes then me, and works hard at them. He is trying to improve his life, so show him some respect.

01. I've been with my boyfriend for over a year.
02. I still watch cartoons.
03. I've never seen The O.C.
04. I love almost all music.
06. I want a tattoo.
07. I wear glasses.
08. But mostly to read the blackboard and drive.
09. I want more piercings.
10. But I can't ever get any more.
11. I love to watch the rain.
12. I like to walk in the dark at night with someone special and talk.
13. I didn't believe in true love when I was younger.
14. I am a pretty cynical person sometimes.
15. Sometimes I cry for no damn reason.
16. I cry about stupid things.
17. I hate being walked all over and treated like crap.
18. It annoys me when people try to tell me how I am, and what I like.
19. I love music.
20. I am not sure if I believe in God, but I believe in a higher power.
21. I often feel alone.
22. I'm sometimes a loud person.
23. A boy shattered my heart into a million pieces.
24. I get depressed sometimes.
25. I hate it when people criticize me for what I like.
26. I crack my knuckles, wrists, ankles, back, etc.
27. I fidgit with anything when I'm nervous.
28. I'm a weird person.
29. I consider myself unique.
30. My eyes are brown.
31. Listening to music usually helps my mood.
32. I am a disappointment to myself.
33. I love sleeping.
34. I'm obsessed with Vanilla.
35. I have a few close friends.
36. Okay, I have like 2 friends.
37. I need to lose weight.
38. I like popcorn.
39. I love watching tv.
40. I like malls.
41. I like cold weather better than hot.
42. I really dig Depeche Mode.
43. I love Winter.
44. I'm addicted to AIM. (its the only way i talk to people?)
45. I have trouble trusting people.
46. I do not label myself anything besides "me."
47. I love my family.
48. I loathe hot humid weather.
49. Sometimes I think I'm crazy.
50. I hate shaving my legs.
51. Sleeping is a hobby of mine.
52. I like to listen to music everyday.
53. I love white tigers.
54. I love dancing.
55. I don't always like the way I look.
56. I cut myself.
57. I'm a daydreamer.
58. I like when my friends write me letters, it makes me feel special.
59. I like to be with my boyfriend.
60. I randomly doodle on pieces of paper or myself when boredom strikes.
61. I love my friends.
62. I'm allergic to milk.
63. I wish people would stop making me cry.
64. I hate people who try to be what they're not.
65. I went to boarding school for the last 2 years of high school
66. I love all candy;
67. I get my feelings hurt really easy.
68. I believe inner beauty is more important than outer beauty.
69. I wear pants a lot.
70. I am often bored.
71. I like to say what's on my mind.
72. I hate blue jeans.
73. I'm online a lot.
74. I have 2 goldfish.
75. I am for the most part happy with myself.
76. I need to work out more.
77. I like being alone at certain times.
78. When I get angry, I curse to myself.
79. I wish I could spend more time with the ones I love.
80. I hate shallow people.
81. I'm a type 1 (insulin dependent) diabetic
82. I ponder life way too much.
83. Sometimes I think everyone hates me.  
84. I wish my brother didn't die.
85. I hate it when girls have their thongs sticking really far out of the back of their pants.
86. I need to be showed I'm loved.
87. I wish I was better.
88. I hate discrimination.
89. I hate guys who are only out for one thing.
90. I have a cute car.
91. I love glitter.
92. I sometimes wish I was more social.
93. I love my close friends.
94. I love to have fun.
95. I get amused easily.
96. I'm lazy. I really am. ;)
97. I'm usually more outgoing when I'm around friends.
98. I love to be me.
99. I like wearing hoodies.
100.I work at a theme park

i found this on a_lost_wandering_soul page, hope you dont mind i borrowed it.

after testing the waters in christainy, and really letting myself soak in this water for a while, i have concluded.... this is f-up. some of it just doesnt make scene. and the whole "born a sinner " thing just isn't working for me. i have a sentivitive mind, and i don't want any unwanted thoughts drifting in. religion just isn't a big part of my life, never has and i think it wont be.

i'm gonna try to be on here more often, but i have gotten into myspace, so thats fun.

i'm in college now. yay! its not that much different then high school, i just only go on mondays and wensdays. and its alot harder! three classes in one! and its an horrors class too! but hey,. i'm enjoying it and making myself smarter. yay!

Currently Listening All the Right Reasons By Nickelback if everyone cares see related

i have been on vacation for the last few days, and i figure i may as well post it. my friends may want to know how things are going. i will list the day and the date and what i can rememeber, and starting this afternoon, it will be everyday. mk?

Day 1 June 13 wensday.

we left he house later then we thought, at about 8:30am. on the way we saw a racing legend in his truck pulling his stock car, but for the life of me i cant remember what his name was!... *looks through the many pictures i took on the way* oh yeah it was Don Garlits, or thats what it said on the truck. we also saw some lovely painting on the bridges in gainsville where we had breakfast. we drove through florida and georgia, and got to atlanta i think around 6. there was only alittle traffic there when we were there, but the other way was stopped for miles. when we got to Kennasaw, where Barb, my fathers friend, lived, we went out for dinner, then came back and watched snakes on a plane. Misty, Barb's daughter, and i talked for about an hour after our parents went to bed about the differences between the publix's in greogia and the ones in florida. i went to bed around midnight.

Day 2 thursday june 14

woke up late. dad, misty and i went around for a while, went to walmart, then went to kennasaw mountian. we drove to the top, took pictures, then misty and i hiked a 1/3 of the way down. i would have gone all the way down, but when we had to cross the road to continue, there was a creepy guy in a car trying to get us to get in. i had thought those days were over, but they are alive and well. we found another woman on her way up and walked in a group back up the mountain and called the rangers with his plate number and discprition. on the way back down he was gone. we went to the small shop that was at the base of  the moutain and got some stuff. we went back home, and relaxed, then dad and i went out to eat, and went this interesting place we read about on Roadside America. it was a civil war surplus, and they had real guns and knives from the civil war. i wanted to buy this $130 dagger, but i didn't because i would be out of money by now. we went back home and relaxed. we watched Talladayga Nights, and Ghostraider. then bed time around midnight.

Day 3 friday june 15

left the house around 8:30 and headed our way for pittsburgh. on the way we stopped to get breakfast and a newspaper. in Tenn, a cow was stuck on the highway, and the cops had no idea how to get it to get back to its herd (about a mile up the road) and they stopped traffic. the poor thing was lost. finally they blocked it into the medium and got the traffic moving again. then going to virginia, then was a truck flipped over in the road. the driver was ok, and the traffic on our side was slowed to a crawl, taking about another hour to get by, but the other side was stopped for about 10 miles. there was people walking there dog, saw another suntanning on the road, grills being set out. it was crazy,. they were probably stuck there for a good 4 hours or so. we stopped in west virginia for gas and i begged dad to let me drive. he finally let me. about 50 miles in, its starts to rain. just alittle bit then its bad, so bad i chouldnt see the road. we swiched back. of course ten miles later is stopped. West Virginia was beautiful. i took many pictures. we were on the road for about 12 hours, getting into my grandfathers around 8pm.  we went, had dinner and got ready for bed. my uncle had the attic for years and they sent me to sleep up there, but when i changed the sheets, i found a load pistil there so i was a bit shaken up. there was porn everywhere too. we went out to walmart, got a new pillow and a cable for the computer. then we the coast was clear i went to bed.

Day 4 saturday june 16

got up around 8am. we had breakfast and went to see my great aunt steppie. she was nice. went for some arrins for my grandfather and ourselves. we got the flowers we needed for the graves today, and i got a fathers day card for my granddad (dad didn't want one). i called my sister to see if she wanted to go with us to the graves and i got her voice mail. she called us back with some bullshit reasons why she didn't want to . f her. she didn't respect mom when she was alive, oh f-ing well.  i called my mothers side grandma and even thou she is sick and old, she is coming.  went home and relaxed. then we went to see my grandma (father side) in the nursing home, and she looked good, hopefully she will get out there soon. on our way home, came across a 18 wheeler on its road on the other side of the road. my father  and the other men coming out of the rest stop on the other side of the road ran over to help. i talked to the wife of one of them, and i ran across the road just in time to see them pull him out. he was ok. a car had cut him off and flipped him over, but he was ok. the traffic, just like in WV, was backed up for miles. we went out after that and had ice cream and went home. i went on the computer and then went to bed around 11am.

day 5 is today so i will fill you in later. cya.